Recycled Reality November 8, 2009

Seriously, is there anyone left who has not yet had their own reality show? Any of these sound familiar?

• Lock people up in a house and watch them go crazy
• Lock people on an island or in a jungle, and watch them go crazy
• Let a former model scream at wanna-be models and watch them go crazy
• Let people who are famous for absolutely no reason have their own show and watch them go crazy
• Chase drunk people who’ve just beat their wives or skipped out on bail and watch them go crazy
• Find people who have a lot of kids, are short, geeky, lonely, have too much/not enough money, think they can sing/dance/design clothes/groom pets/raise VC captial, and watch them go crazy

Am I the only one totally bored and appalled with what producers think will capture our attention? Sure, everyone wants their “15 minutes of fame,” but I am so not interested in watching them for 15 minutes – let alone when they try to stretch those 15 minutes into a <cough> career.

And, as if it couldn’t get any worse, the new trend from the “low hanging fruit” department at production companies is to recycle these people. Have you seen this? The “stars” of one reality show appearing on other shows? The mom of the really big family needs a wedding dress, so she goes on the wedding dress show. The guy from the “we’re all locked in a house” show is now on the plastic surgery show. And don’t even get me started on the skanks from one show who then end up on the “I’m stuck in a jungle and am crying because I’m not allowed to use makeup or hairspray” show.

I’m sure there are a zillion more examples of this, but I’ve tuned out. What happened to a script and drama? (Yes, I know reality is scripted, but I mean a real script). Yeah, I get it. Scripts and writers and junk all cost money.  With so many TV channels, it is hard enough to compete for audience share in order to generate ad revenue. Waah, waah, waah. And, now, the tables have been turned with some of these reality “stars” making a hefty paycheck for each episode.

Obviously, I’m not in the target audience for this garbage. I’m not interested in their so-called lives, don’t care what products they endorse, or which magazines regale us with stories of “The exclusive story of who she’s sleeping with now.”

Go away. Please, for the love of all that is decent, go away.

Who am I? I’m just a broad with a blog.

There Was This Guy – v.1 November 8, 2009

What a miserable thing it is to attend singles events. I once met a guy went on to enthusiastically tell me about his work. I was intrigued; rarely does someone display this level of excitement about their work. I thought this was admirable and was interested to learn more. He went on to tell me that the hours were flexible, allowing him complete control over his schedule. He said he worked at the local university. He had my attention.

Well, it turns out that he was a “professional experiment subject.” He spent most of his time floating in water in a dark isolation tank.

Perfect.

Who am I? I’m just a broad with a blog.

Pantyhose November 7, 2009

I knew it! I’ve long wondered who in their right mind invented the fashion convenience that is pantyhose. Thanks to the internet, which is never wrong, I now know that I’ve got a man to thank for it. A Mr. Glen Raven Mills in 1965 came up with the idea around the time hemlines were moving upward. Guess that makes sense – in a business opportunity sort of way.

Still, those of us who have worn pantyhose know what a pain they are to wear. Men, imagine your fingers are webbed together like a duck. Now, imagine that your legs are webbed. Got that, now add 3-inch heels and try to walk. No, not like that – like a lady is supposed to walk. Can’t do it? That’s what I thought.

Women were wearing stocking long before Mr. Mills came along, so I guess it isn’t entirely his fault. Which was worse – stockings and a garter belt or one-piece pantyhose? It’s a tough call. Yes, I know that many women today prefer to opt for bare legs, sans stocking altogether. Heaven knows this is more comfortable than webbing, but there still are situations where this more casual style isn’t appropriate.

We blame all this on men. Men expect us to look sexy. Men like to see our legs. Men like heels. Right, but who is it that puts them on everyday? It’s us, ladies. It is amazing what we’ll do unto ourselves in the name of fashion. Though I know this, I still shake my fist at the fashion gods and pray for the next trend to me sweat pants and athletic shoes.

Who am I? I’m just a broad with a blog.

Am I Special? October 25, 2009

We all think we’re special, or at least we do for some period of our lives. After all, this is what our parents always told us.

Turns out some people grew up only to take this way too literally. Being special is one thing. Being more special than most everyone else is something else altogether. Not only is it not cool, it’s misguided. The exponential rise in the number of people using social networking sites only exacerbates this tendency in some. If we have 900 friends on Facebook, does that make us more special than the guy who has only 20? Sadly, many people seem to believe this to be true.

Really, we just need to get over ourselves and connect in a real and meaningful way. Virtual relationships are great, but they aren’t everything. And they certainly don’t replace “real” relationships – you know, the kind where you sit and actually have a meal with someone. And by meal, I mean the kind where you talk to each other, rather than texting or looking over the other person’s shoulder at the TV.

Yeah, I’m special. Most importantly, so are you. What would you like to talk about?

Who am I? I’m just a broad with a blog.

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